you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him