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• (209): View more from California

  He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...

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• (408): View more from California

  No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it

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  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

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• (707): View more from California

  I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.

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• (914): View more from New York

  Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.

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• (941): View more from Florida

  So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.

  (941): View more from Florida

  I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.

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  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.

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• (415): View more from California

  He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.

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