somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
29 People Who Do Dirty Things Just To Get Their Way
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?