Kiss
Puke
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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