He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
