I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
