Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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