If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
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