i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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