dude i'm inner monologue high
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
