tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize