he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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