Can i not drive my cunt home
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
