He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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