Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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