Jerry, you need to find god
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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