dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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