After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
