But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
