drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
