whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
