I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
