Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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