she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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