I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
