Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
