found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
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She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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