Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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