He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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