I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
