were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
