I wish i was in the wii world.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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