Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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