I wish my penis had an off switch
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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