Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
oh god the rape fog is back!
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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