If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
