he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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