dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
