id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
The air taste purple.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
