just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize