Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
