my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
i've created a new STD.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
