Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Did you just see the Batmobile???
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
