just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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