if i can run in heels then i can drive
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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