ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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