I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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