I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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