after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
