no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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