Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
