So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
