You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just invented taco cereal.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Damn victory sex feels great
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
