Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
