Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass