his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
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