Texts From Last Night

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  (707): View more from California

  Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?

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  (707): Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried? http://tfl.nu/0ae3
  Replies (21) Good night (667) Bad night (1551)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.

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  (206): I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers. http://tfl.nu/k6c6
  Replies (26) Good night (6320) Bad night (743)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.

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  (509): I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good. http://tfl.nu/3e0k
  Replies (30) Good night (5196) Bad night (2041)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old

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  (401): His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old http://tfl.nu/b9xq
  Replies (35) Good night (8691) Bad night (1583)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.

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  (615): Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron. http://tfl.nu/4qyy
  Replies (14) Good night (4490) Bad night (1093)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!

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  (908): It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?! http://tfl.nu/h7d0
  Replies (20) Good night (8087) Bad night (1138)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well

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  (812): Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well http://tfl.nu/2njp
  Replies (9) Good night (3830) Bad night (1241)
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  (323): View more from California

  I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.

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  (323): I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity. http://tfl.nu/wqm4
  Replies (6) Good night (1948) Bad night (698)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  (540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?

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  (540): (540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable? http://tfl.nu/oc1y
  Replies (4) Good night (971) Bad night (630)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.

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  (304): Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out. http://tfl.nu/fz3p
  Replies (2) Good night (558) Bad night (831)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.

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  (202): I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills. http://tfl.nu/w2hv
  Replies (6) Good night (1555) Bad night (751)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.

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  (612): Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey. http://tfl.nu/j7hl
  Replies (7) Good night (489) Bad night (766)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.

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  (202): Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward. http://tfl.nu/pb68
  Replies (0) Good night (547) Bad night (292)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.

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  (865): She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser. http://tfl.nu/66td
  Replies (1) Good night (811) Bad night (288)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.

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  (302): I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover. http://tfl.nu/nbnu
  Replies (1) Good night (197) Bad night (434)

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