wakey wakey hands off snakey
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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