you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
