lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
